he smiles like stars, eyes that shine, life so bright, make my heart light up, touch so light, heart so hard, to laugh so hard and just let all be, I met this man, who had a charm and walked into a wonder of diamonds, stones of solid steel, I hadn't the chance, to see all, but hand held from far he reached, my tears he'd find if earth did hide, yours truly....ew

My heart strung...

and then you strung my heart with your words and I heard a thunderous sound of my heart beat to the pleasure of your words...like a blend of blue sky and ocean bringing waves of melodies to my heart; chords of feelings run through me and a tingle to chimes with songs of joy none ever known and a final ensemble of a heart pounding and deep breathes capsule this moment...aaaahhhhh...yours truly

My confessions

I would like to be as honest as I possibly can with you
I wanna be truthful
I wanna minimize any chance of hurting you
I wanna tell it to you without holding back
My thoughts about you are not pure
I do not like you a much as my smile says
Not really, I do like you but…
I never enjoy being your shoulder every time you have an issue
I can be around for you but not always…
At the sight of my phone ringing with a call or text from you I wanna hide
But some days I wonder whether you run when you don’t answer my calls
I look at that man who works on the 3rd floor with an undressing eye
Even with my ring on my finger
And I wonder whether your phone lock is to play it safe with me
I miss the days I would walk around naked in the house
Though I don’t mind doing it when you are there with me
I long for days of lying in bed with no pressure to wake up and deal with the world
Though some mornings I’d love to cook you that English breakfast that you love
How I wish for the days when I’d laugh and cry after a day of watching movies uninterrupted?
Even though walking out of a movie theater in your arms is the most priceless gift anyone could ever ask of another
Days when everything in the house was just where I left it and not moved
Even though I love when you introduce a piece to complete that space
I fear telling you that I do not feel the same way you do
But every day I wake up I never wanna take my eyes off of you
To tell you all this comes with a tonnes of losses
I am not prepared to handle all these loses
And so maybe I will go to the grave with my confessions
But that is my sign of how much I am willing to give to you
I fear commitment; I fear the fact that you are in my space forever
I fear that the decision to be with you is locked and the keys thrown away
Maybe my confessions are mine and maybe will be harboured inside until that day
That day when my confessions will not be mine

EW©2009 December

From my heart

The pockets of my heart bleed slowly
No pain so great has been known to me in this lifetime
Journey to the moon and back we made
A solemn promise to be true to you
Your stars lit my life
I felt safe giving my life to you
Yet no one could have anticipated this day
Or if it was it wasn’t to me
Not knowing what I did or not forgiving me
Not answering my calls or responding to my messages
Then your response
If not to shutter my heart in one message
“My space…leave me”
What did I do so badly that costs us 10 years
Judas in selling our savior must have experienced this feeling
If not worse
When he realized he sold his friend that was later to be savior of the world
I guess a journey of 10 years can be reduced to a moment
That which I ask of you now: if I deserve to be punished by your silence
Like the wet whip on my bare back
I wipe my tears every 2 minutes and rub my heart at the same time
As I wonder in solace
On this hill I look across to the other
I wonder if I’ve made my last journey across from you
Away from you
Only to be seen in yonder
As that little spec
Differences aside…
I wonder what it would take
And then again, I wonder whether it’ll be worth it
I am deeply sorry my lady
…Lord forgive me
~EW

I'm coming back...

I needed to hear that...it's coming...its trickling down and it's making it's way down to the tips of my fingers and I will write today in a language that the soul and mind speak...busking in the skies of inspiration with words and verbs blossoming from my heart to write and opening up and flaunt the succulent sentences...delicate and inspiring....luscious and full of flavour

Yours Truly,
Elsie

This Morning

I go through some ordeals in life that I shock myself sometimes and so this morning I asked myself this:

I must have bleeped for you not look back yet I took that leap to meet you here when you needed me...so now I'm hot coal - can't hold me...yet the heat and the burn is what seals this deal...can you handle it, because I am not going all that way for you to dismiss me...and you ask me why I don't wanna look your way? Seriously....

The 46th Psalm

In our world,
Where everything’s so quick,
So fast,
One hardly finds that moment,
That one moment to be still,
And know…
It is in that moment where,
Comfort meets us,
Where our emotions leave us,
Where our minds and thoughts are cleansed,
It is here that we find newness of our core,
Revitalized in our thoughts and actions,
That all we do,
All we say,
We find in that moment showers of mercy,
We meet tranquility and peace of mind
It is here we find rest,
Here that we lift our hearts,
We lift our hands and we glorify him,
We meet our maker…the teacher,
It is here in that motionless state of our being,
That we find humility,
And acknowledge that He
….Indeed is Lord
~EW

My Spirit is holding you

My spirit is holding you
And your spirit holds her
You look great
I look good
I feel nice
You feel good
How are you?
I am well…
How is your boyfriend?
How is your girlfriend?
What do would you like?
I’d like you in a cup with some cherry on top
So you want tequila?
No I’ll have a scotch on the rocks…
Light me…
Sorry I don’t have a light
…
And
….And
……and

In that mind of a man

In that mind of a man
That man that I didn’t mind
With careless thoughts of me
Thoughts that care less about me
In a heartbeat
The beats of my heart so fast
His finger tips meet my lips
And the tips on my fingers make me flip
Am maybe I was losing my mind
To yet another loose mind
That expected I spread thighs
With my thighs on spreads
Unfortunately he had to jerk off
And off the jerk went
Remembering his heydays
Days spent on hays
Ways of the high and unaffected
On highways and speed
At the crack of his whip
You’d hear my deep weep
And
…And
……..And
In that mind of a man
Of that man that I didn’t mind
~EW

If, Then, Else

If, Then…Else

If not me,
Who then,
If I cannot rely on you,
Who then,
If I’m not honest with me,
Who then,
If my music daily inspires me,
Who then,
If my heart is sold to you,
Who then,
If you cheat my feelings,
Who then,
If you cannot be truthful,
Who then,
If my tears come pouring down,
Who then,
If my face and heart need a shield,
Who then,
If I cannot run to you,
Who then,
If I cannot speak my heart to you,
Who then,
If I want to laugh heartily with you,
Who then,
If that tea’s too hot to drink,
Who then,
If your hand’s too cold to hold,
Who then,
If I have no one to take me to a home,
Who then,
If I cannot be assured that I’ll find God in your heart,
Who then,
If to find peace and be at peace it’s to be within me and to live in me
What then,
If…
Then….
Else….
~EW

That Long...

It’s been…that long
That long since I saw you
That long since I heard you
That long…?
How long shall I not see you?
How long shall I be free of you?
How long?
So long as you keep me close to your heart
So long as my heart keeps you close
So long…so long!
Then as long as you do not take long then we will belong
…for that (arms wide open) long
~EW

Put it all on paper

write it all down
let her hear your love and feel your heart
put it all on paper!
© ~EW 2009

That Kiss....

dancing on your face
...that kiss that swings you
a toss to oblivion
...and return not that gesture
that kiss
that kiss
...that kiss
~EW

Non-Friend

Friends they come and go
But you came and stayed
Friendship and commitment can be tested
But we’ve been tested time and again…we’ve come 13years strong
The year 2000, for me, was the greatest test but still you stood close by
We choose our friends
…I’m not sure I had a choice to make about you and me
Friends wipe your tears in sad times
But you seem to be the cause of all my sad moments
Friends can only be real with you
But you have no courage to show yourself or scold me when doing wrong
Friends reassure you during moments of uncertainty
But you continue to cloud my mind and cause me to doubt myself
Have I become your slave?
Have you found a vessel in me?
…a vessel to demonstrate your direness.
I remember instants with my friends and family
When you were not around…we laughed to tears and cried to laughter!
Just because the moment was never about you…
…but then you come and get involved and then everything revolves around you
Those memories that I had of those happy moments…you drag them with you
For me a haze and vagueness thrive in my mind
I am not sure why I am afraid to look my friends in the eye any longer
But something tells me…it was not pretty…cos I can feel it in my head and in the last bone in my body
I feel like I am in chains bound to you to my demise
…could it be or is this a mind game?
Tomorrow, despite the outcomes of yesterday
You entice me in your way of saying, “I’ll always be there and provide you an outlet to let go and be easy,”
I decline everything constructive and engage in everything destructive
In my firm grip you sit and I can feel that evil and ungood beginning to rise in me
The body’s urge to just shake and release
To remain in that state…trance mode; spellbound; detached from reality
With you, I can bring down everything that was meant for good…
With you, I can draw that road to my death…everything is possible with you
At least that’s what you come announcing!
I wonder why I never see you around when I have a plus or a positive thing happening in my life.
I wish not to exist within all that exists around me
I want to cleanse my body and purge all my desires for you
For everything that is you
I yearn to scream out loud and let it all out…my anger
The wish that all this is just a part of my dream…my disappointments
The desire to not be this compulsive drinker…myself
I wonder if this statement can now make sense
How many of you can say it
My name is Elsie and I am an alcoholic
~EW

My Heart Scripted (The Poem)

My heart scripted
soul and mind lifted
through storms we drifted
maybe we're skilled and gifted
journeys written
wrapped in mittens
cold so harsh
I don't choose to hush
the jacket looks puff
I can't wear it rough
but my hand scribes
what my mind and heart describe
how can we strive
to get that word heard
that word that thrives
thrives in us
but give vibes to thugs
those thugs that steal our hearts
know how to kill our creative minds
spill the ink and wet that paper
that paper that we depend on
that which we live off
how can you try
yet we try harder
how can you dream
yet our dreams are bigger
how can you laugh
yet our laughs are louder
you wanna write and be heard
be not afraid...
my heart scripted
is my soul and mind lifted!

~EW

When you think you've got it together

When you think you've got it together,
It all begins to falls out of place
Where pieces where fitting
Suddenly become too big
Where all round was good
Oval becomes the fit
The whole piece transforms before you
Everything taking a different shape, form and size
Are we prepared for what was predicted in the beginning?
The words that came out of my mouth and yours sounded perfect
As rosy and dreamy as can be
Now as filthy and corrupted as shit
Then they begin to rush before your eyes
All without meaning or truth in them
Never tying back to the initial plan that was
How do you keep it together?
We seemed to have it together
all made sense for the while that it was
It seemed like a piece out of a fairy tale
All bliss and wonderful
Though thorny now
I'll hold on...keep it all together
I will be together again!
~EW

Weakness Alive

Where the heart is weak
and the body willing
the mind clear
and the soul freed
the will to live
becomes a living being
alive and in motions
emotions and feeling
rapture through the valves on the heart
your heart feels the thing...
...flowing through the entire system
from the tip of your toe
to the tip of your last hair
I call this...orgasm
....emotional, engaging
powerful enough to make my heart stop
...can you take me there?
~EW

Sensory Pleasure I

I would like to be your flavor,
In the wonders of your pleasure,
Savouring in the aroma of your scent,
The luxury of your presence inspires me
and drives me nuts...
With every piece of you that you leave with me,
I devour with justice,
I dream of you (and sense you)
I think of you
and I wish you!
My spirit abiding and in the air,
Free to roam,
to find myself
in the scent of you...
...to live in that sensory pleasure...
forever!
~EW

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies...!

Ladies, ladies, ladies.
who better than the ladies?
There is a big lie that parades, masquerading itself as truth....
The man...the victim,
Misguided by the stares we give,
With that sparkle in your eye when we declare our love,
....our undying love!
"There is no one else who makes me feel the way you do!" You say to him!
And he melts at the sound and thumps his chest saying, "Who's your daddy?"

The truth is....
Right now, I'm checking someone else out and,
I like that someone else,
I steal glances and begin to fantasize....its wild
I could swear that all this makes me hot and sweaty,

On this day,
The big day with the guy that I've been zoning off with is here.
So he says hello and you respond with a twinkle in your smile.
"Let's do drinks and catch up hey...Tonight even? Are you available? You know just to catch up and what not...it's been a while."
For me, what all that means is...it's been a while since you know what; plastered with kisses; baked in lust; frying in my own liquid; the need to get it on!
"That sounds good...so I'll see you at 6.30pm say Blancos?" I say
Cool bananas!

and...so we meet.
I pour out my heart in a bid to get some assistance understanding "my man"
I make it know that the partner just ain't rocking my world no more.
"I need to find a spark, a new fire in our relationship, I need to connect on another level; Love is overrated; I'm so empty; This dude does not treat me right" I go on and on and on and all he is doing is wishing me away.
He wishes me naked; eyes locked on my bossom and can only imagine what he would be doing with that pair.
He wants to do me...I can see it in his eyes.
So I lean forward and tease with the twins!
So I think..."no, this ain't right"

Truth...I want him more
so our evening....bla bla bla
you know the drill - bills etc

He kisses me as we say our goodbyes
and shortly, it’s the back seat in the car...
...car all steamy and what not!
The shit is going down in that car!

I come out and make sure I am all straightened up
And I walk the runway like Tyra Banks
Feeling all good and what not!
Shit...some good shit right there!
...I make my way home with this impossible smirk on my face!
Only me and the devil know what's good tonight!
Then "my man" asks, "how was dinner with the girls"
I go....with the smirk on my face....FANTASTIC!...Did I tell you how much I love you?" and bla bla bla!

This is the truth; this is the lady in that skin that trots around with boldness telling the man that I love you...!

Truth....sigh!!!
~EW

Did you hear it!

Did you hear my heart?
Like the sound of the African drums in a ritual dance
Did you hear it battering against the walls of my chest?
Like the wave of the sea against the edges of the cliff
Did you feel the currents in the veins violently moving from one chamber to the other?
Like the mighty Zambezi as she pours viciously down the Victoria Falls
It is because every time I see you my heart wants to run with you
Every time I hear your voice my hearts jumps out to follow you
Every time I think of you my heart skips a beat
But I shy away from that experience
Because I fear I may lose my heart to you
That my heart will run and never come back
That my heart will jump and never bounce back
That my heart will skip a beat and never beat again
The sound of my heart is music to my ears
I revel in the sound of the beat
The thought of the jump
And the skip of the beat
All that just because it is you
It needs to be you and only you
You have my heart but you don’t know it
I asked you…
Did you hear my heart?
And you said, “no!”
~EW

Just When

Just when I thought I had taken enough,
Just when I thought,
"I've had enough,"
He came in,
and I gave in.
Oh no!!!
I shouldn’t have.
But...
No buts!!!
Soon I was wallowing in my errors
My outlook changed to terror
My little heart felt like a knife cutting through,
My mind could only race through
Then I had nothing to carry me through
My curse was my only weakness
All at the cost of my happiness
like a bouncing ball,
back and forth,
against a wall.
~EW

Deserve it

If I deserve it,
let my heart be hanged and bleed to death.
If I deserve it,
let my feet be nailed to the ground.
If I deserve it,
let my tongue be chopped off by the blade.
Do I deserve it...?
...the pain in my heart,
the pain through my body?
Do I really deserve it?
And now as strangers we part.
As if we've never known.
Run naked in the rain...
...to drain the pain.
Be covered in mud...
...to hide the stain of love.
Once it glowed...
...but now the light dies.
By the thumb and finger...
...it's time to stop the light

~EW

Never Be The Same Again

It feels weird to say "It’s over!"
"Forget it!" I say
We are not changing
We are the same people
I have to pick up and go
Say goodbye and get the last kiss
I never wanna be the same again

The days are heavy with sadness
To feel joy is almost like a rare thing
To be happy does not cost much
But I have paid a price too long for it
Carry your bags and leave
Never turn back
You will never be the same again

To feel undeserving of love is often
Piercing thoughts of "why me?"
I am a queen in a dungeon
The light scarce and darkness prevails
For how long though?
Walk on and find a ray of light
For the sun shines to keep us warm
To make us see things in its light
I will never be the same again

~EW

Who will love me?

Love is such a complex yet easy to relate with word
Who says you can have it and love it?
It is just the way love is
I want to be adored
I want to be loved
I want to be wanted...
oh love...who will love me?
It cannot be explained
I could not wake up this morning
The world felt like a bad place
And if that is how it looks
How will it feel if I get out there?
Is it beautiful?
Is it ugly?
Is it the same place?
oh love...who will love me?

~EW

Life is in your hands

You can only enjoy life so much
But I bet you can really enjoy it more
Because there is nothing that is entirely out of your control
It is all within your reach but the only thing is that it is in your hands
Should you call the shots...?
Whether you decide to have a bad day after work
Or be happy and share a smile with your friends
The decision lies in your hands

I feel wonderful
And you know what?
Nobody can stop me....!
Because I can!!!
I have decided to feel wonderful!!!

So y'all remember!!!
It is all in your hands
Happiness!!!!

~EW

Morning Bliss

When you wake up to a crisp smell of the morning
You know that something good is in the air
Something that you cannot quite place your finger on
But that something is about to happen

You feel like a burst of joy and love
Like a child playing in the sand
Like you could even do a flip and a summersault
You believe this feeling is an award winner and should be the order of everyday

I may have had a wonderful evening
Of wining, dining and a dance
But you just don't know that for sure
It may have been an awful night
But you wake up to this feeling...

I love this feeling
It is stupid but I promise you
There is no feeling like this
Think about it...
A dance step here and another there...

Morning bliss...divine I tell you
Simply put...divine!

This is my Thirst

My tongue strokes the stem of a rose
One prick and I take a pose....
...The taste...
It tickles my buds...
I want more...
Like the fangs of a vampire
Digging in for a taste of human blood
I suck hard to get more
The harder I try the harder it gets
The blood stops pouring
A dry well it is...no water to cure my thirst
My tongue is dry...
.....for now maybe!
My pursuit does not end here
......my hunger will be filled again...
....soon....sooner than you thought!

~EW

It's All About Me

I pity the person who sees me and says "WOW"
and never actually gets the chance to talk to me,
say hey; grab a coffee, chips and chicken...bla bla bla.
You will never get to know me
You will never know the things that make me laugh
or the things that make me cry
You will never know what I did last night
or what I plan on doing tomorrow
You will never know what got me to sleep at night
or what kept me up all night
You will never know the thing that cracks me up
Or what gets me worked up
It all about me
get to know me,
It is all about me,
I pity you darling...you who comes and says "WOW"
and never gets to know me

~EW

The Chase

Its on...
The wait and the race,
The pressure is on...
The valves feel as if the would reap apart at a beat
just one that waits to pop a beat
The beat of the heart that determines the continuation of life
the muscles hard strung
waiting to contract and dilate
The beat that holds the breath and all that is within me
The pulse of a deer when at chase
If silence took over
It would turn into a melody of tune for the racing breathless animal...
WHAT?
The heart beats again...
You here it - close to my ear,
The system is up and go
The suspense of one beat holds no more,
My blood runs free through my body,
It flows like a free spirit to rejuvenate the whole body
It runs dip to the tip of my toe
Even the blink of an eye cannot catch up with the pace
The timeless, limitless beat, flows,
The vessels on chambers of passage
The chase is on...
It waits
The splash through the valves is it...
All of it is about what I go through,
Anxiety,
Joy,
Sadness,
And many more which you and I experience daily
But it does not depend on it at all,
I want my heart to beat in-sync with yours,
It could be worse...
...MY HEART COULD STOP!

~EW

To be inspired

It takes time to write
Time for an inspiration to trickle down my fingers to scribe
Like the rain that teases to fall on a sunny morning
Can you smell the air?
...a mix of the rich earth
And all the complications that it stand on it.
The smell dances around my nose...
The winds blow and almost spin my skirt around
Tickles my nostrils and then…
...it pours down
An angry pour
One that had been waiting to splash in the fields and valleys
To wet the ground to yield its crop
Or be freed
As the ground receives with an open mouth
Drinking only to enjoy the route the water takes
To cure that desire...
It takes time to write
It needs the might of the mind and spirit to write
Just like the rain needs the earth to receive
So I write
Because I am inspired
today I am!

~EW

Like A Spartan

Apr. 29, 2007 at 10:04 PM

Disgruntled is what I feel this morning
I tried to sleep but my eyes just won't shut
One million thoughts raced through my mind
As though all trying to catch my attention
I could not immediately identify what it was
I had a glass of wine earlier with my girl
I tried to talk about it but the feeling did not go
I wondered why my heart would be in such a state
Disturbed, discontented, dissatisfied and restless
It came to me this morning
I tried to open my eyes to the sun outside
It felt like the battle for Sparta
Fighting for territory...
But I won...I opened my eyes
You see the sun's rays don't take corners
The come straight
They don't bend
They come direct
The feeling that is within is hitting my heart directly
There is no other way of dealing with it except for me to accept
We are who we are because we agree to be who we are!
I refuse to be down and out
I refuse to be spent by these feelings
So this morning, I stand strong and ready to face my demons
Like the men of Sparta who fought in the fortress with Sous and his men
Proud to bear the pain and struggle without a cry
So I fight for my heart
I will find serenity in the end
And I will come back and tell you all about it...
...I promise.

~EW

Newspaper Guy

He hails from the countryside
He is simple yet complex
Allowing the world to teach him
But cautious not to let the world corrupt him
An envious trait in a human being
Portraying control over his territory
Surrounded by variety
Careful to pick and enjoy only but the best
An admirable quality only to say but the least
From his lips comes freshness...
...a new breath that sends the mind to wonder
You can only be at your best around him
He does not laugh...
...but he makes me laugh and that kills me
How does he laugh?
What tickles him?
Curious is what I am
Friends we became and to the journey we toasted!
Indeed...
But to what and where?
His life and style I know not
I think know his thoughts...
Don't you always think you know them?
What motivates his life and actions?
Mine is open to be read...
...I am not rocket science
But maybe I shouldn't be that way,
Let life be...
...Experience it with an open mind
Is that what you say?
Accept all as is; have FUN!
If I would know all that about him...
...it would be great!
just great!
~EW

The Question is?

I was asked this question and I felt like someone was finally seeing through me
Like someone had seen through the many layers that I have on my entire body
All but to suggest happiness
What a loaded question that becomes and in the end what could I say…
“Elsie, are you a happy person?”
Yes I am happy….but the 6milion things that replay in my head to confirm the contrary
I have the deepest fears that any human can experience and acknowledge
They have roots so deep; the core of the earth could be my next place the roots will find themselves
Maybe, I am not happy...but who is to say?
Do you think I’m happy because of the people that surround me that I laugh with and make me smile?
Is it the house that I live in; the car that I drive; the places I dine and wine? The destinations and trips that I venture to on vacation; the many things that the world may now be defining as happiness…?
Isn’t this pleasure; what is born of the external world and not within me? I may find pleasure in travelling but that may not be what makes me happy.
What is happiness?
Is it not the pure love and appreciation for the self and of those around you?
Isn’t it the situations in my life that I have judged as good and if not then I am not happy.
Mahatma Gandhi said it, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”
Harmony sounds so foreign. If I throw this question back at you, will you tell me whether you have happiness or whether you are still on your quest? Granted we may have happiness because we chose to have it because at the end of the day it is a state of mind. But is everything you do synchronized?
When I think I am in love; and say I love you; do I actually love you?
After any ordinary or normal day does everything you’ve thought, said and done harmonized?
When you have happiness then you have wonderful attitudes that feed that whole that does not deny you that pleasurable experiment called life
Yes…life is only pleasurable if we have happiness that truly exists and as the core of the being.
“Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence,” Aristotle
How is it for you?
Do you cloud your mind with everything that is not kind to nurture happiness?
I write this not for you but for me and now ask myself…
“…am I happy?”
And still a very loaded question
~EW

Letter to Amelia

Amelia,

I commend you on saying it like it is!

I feel we lost the art of dating as we begun our stroll into year 2000. We lost the delicate art of treating the woman and man right just because it is the right thing to do. We lost our sensibility of not hurting the other out of our own selfish motives. And not the excuses made not to date are more beyond ruthless. When we dated those days we dated because we wanted the experience with another human being that would take us to a place that no one else in the universe at the time would take you. Hurting was not in the vocabulary but I guess it happened to a select few because they kept each other honest or someone simply fucked up. That said, the age we live in now makes me quiver at the thought of dating...the process has almost reversed...let's have a drink get high have sex and if we click me move, if not, it's been real I'll see you when I see you. The process has literally been adulterated where younger women wanna marry older men and older women wanna hook up with younger boys...those conversations between the two groups are never on the same lines...it's about money; time for sex; my hair; my car; my and more my's.

Where oh where did the old script for dating go to...I am simply packed and ready for a life with myself than a life of misery with another who's excuse for not treating me right is "I'm not ready for the level of commitment (and yet we are intimate) or just simple things such as we don't click after months/years of devotion to each other"
It bites me deep in my heart when I look at my mom and dad and see that seamless connection that they have with each other that is beyond husband and wife and more like friends and life partners....that is what I want.

I hope you find that one Amelia...

Yours Truly
~EW

With Your Life

It felt so warm as it slid down my cheeks

The pain that run through every part of my body was alive

I do remember what got me here

Certainly thinking about the warmth of the moments

I felt vulnerable in your hands; your words reassured my pouncing heart

The world did not exist; it was just you and I

Your firm hands that covered my form was comforting yet exciting

If there was one time I was unable to swallow it was then

As my mind tried to construct the perfect words to describe the moment

I was frozen in that time capsule…

Everything stopped and motion ceased...all that was moving, and fast, was my heart

The pace of a jaguar on adrenaline plus was my heart literally

Your eyes delve deep into mine and the spin like the whirlwind in the desert

A journey that translates itself to more than what I’d ever known or felt

And then you said it…

“This isn’t working,”

The goose bumps rose all over my body and a chill so cold down my spine

“But what…?” I asked,

“I never mentioned to you about Celia…my fiancée,” he said while turning his face away

And then I swallowed hard…”Why didn’t you ever mention this to me?”

And the best he could do was it all happened so fast and that he did not want to lose me…six months later….come on!

And that is when I felt a tingle in my eye and then the tear just slid down my cheek and the pain was so alive mostly in my heart…I felt like I could remove it and make this feeling go away…but I couldn’t it was with me for a long time.

Whatever brought us to this point was a lie and all lies

I cannot remember when my heart felt what I felt

The ease of letting you into my life was my biggest lesson

It is what it is…to turn back the hand of time is impossible

I want to take back all that I feel for you…but what I felt for you was real

I am a real person with real feelings

What God gave me to give can sometimes be abused

I am a wonderful person, hard to let go of and easy to fall for…

My heart though is guarded by grids of vigilance from the likes of you

I may not see what you are made of right away…but it will come to light soon

Guard your hearts people…guard it with your life.

~EW

Le Nuit

If the night had a name,
What would it be?
Le nuit, usiku, darkness...?
She sneaks in as the sun sets and rises in another land
The silence of the night speaks for itself,
The sound of my radio or the sound of the creatures in the night,
Crickets making that signature sound that you will never miss,
That owl that masks the night with a sound that says night is here,
The skies are laced with stars unshy to show themselves and the moon in her grace with her light to magnify the night and display it to all
If I looked into the night I would not see much but much happens at night
My heart beats and I breathe,
My dreams come alive and I am still awake,
My mind runs with the scenic night, wild and free to stray,
For there is no boundary to be,
I am in my covers and a child cries that wakes a mother to be with her child
The car screeches and you know someone is not being careful on the road
A horn goes off and that’s the neighbor that comes home late after a late night in the office (or God knows where…)
Gun shots in the air and that is the raging battle between the police and that person who made the error of getting caught and losing his life
Drops of water falling on the ground; remnants of the rain in the late evening
Wind and leaves command the night when they dance together and do that thing that can wake you when a dog sneaks onto your property and rattles the leaves
Music, lights, action, dance, the air can only be filled with party mood in the clubs and the clinging glasses cheering on the winning team (UNITED lol)
Candles and food and a ring, a romantic asking to grow old with another and share in the joy of life
A nurse and a doctor struggle to save a life of that person that crossed the road and forgot to look left
That kitchen on Moi Avenue busy cooking up that greasy chicken and fries that is picked up by the bachelors and bachelorettes too tired and hungry to cook a meal after clubbing
Night oh night
Such life; such life
But then creeps in the sun and her rays piercing through the skies and the night ends her reign then
I say day and night are but light and dark
That which is in the dark is also in the day but just not seen or heard by all
Written by Elsie Wandera


The day eavesdropped on the conversation between the night n darkness,...pleaded with the morning to bring us sunlight ~Edu Gitau

My World Your World

Lilies and bees
breeze and wind
roses and thorns
meadow and hills
trees and creepers
scents and pants
sun and rays
red and blue
white and black
pink and brown
hoppers and ladybirds
I'm sure...or not
drip and drop
honey and pond
land and sea
tip toe and dance
twinkle and shine
my world your world
I'm sure...or not
hmmm!
~EW

As Dust

As dust
Blown from my hand
Softly yet intent
They fall free
The land soft
Yet to hear the sound of it
....hush!

Written by Elsie Wandera and Daniel Wandera

Do you think about me?

Do you think about me the way I think about you?
When I pick a scent like yours that sends me off to you?
My spine tingles when I remember your touch
Do you remember me like I do when the thought of me crosses your mind?
I smile just thinking about you :~))
I wonder whether when you see those flowers you think about me...because I love flowers?
I laugh when I see a man raise his voice at a car that overtakes him recklessly and I remember your adorable face when you get into that frenzy
I'm clubbing with my girls and I see her holding her man dancing to that song and I remember you holding me like the world is only us and we get whisked away by the song...
The nurse checks my pulse and I see the rhythmic beats and I remember how in tune your heart is with mine when our arms meet
I light the candle and I remember that dark night when your eyes sparkled as you looked at me and through me and undressed me with your eyes...
I get trapped in the moment when I hear my message tone and I scroll through my phone and I reread all your messages to me...'I miss you darling'
My heart bounces with anxiety when we raise our glasses at dinner with friends to toast to life...and I remember the wine glasses you bought me to ensure we drink wine off proper glasses
When water runs in the shower and falls on me I remember you helping reach that spot I could not on my back
I read 'Battlefield of The Mind', and I remember asking you to help me understand the meaning of The statement and what it means to you; now on chapter 8 and Joyce asks us to let our minds be at rest to achieve normalcy...do you agree?
I cooked and I'm trying to reach the plates but I can't because the cabinet is too high and your height always complimented mine...you reach where I cannot reach
I could go on...I am vulnerable around you; with you; away from you;
I am just wondering...do you think about me the way I think about you?
~EW

Words and Verbs

I sleep with words
Dream with verbs
Breathe these words
Live these verbs
Trip cos of words
Click cos of verbs
Wise utter words
Dice kata verbs
I die in words
Lie in verbs
Type back the word
Fight back the verb
...For where I lay my head today...
...I sleep words and dream verbs
~EW

forbidden that fruit

forbidden that fruit; take flavor through the eye; taste through the ears and send your thoughts to me on a little paper; keep it short and keep me thinking of that fruit that forbidden that fruit

~EW

Sensory Pleasure II

She smells my words as they leave my mouth and makes her heart beat a tad bit faster...
The hair on the back of her neck know and acknowledge his touch as they rise to honor his stroke...