I Am HIS

I was of the world

But now I know I am not my own

I was bought for a price

My price was too high

The Almighty Son gave His life

I was too high on my Jameson

But He made me so

To die for me on the cross

I am now a consumer of the Holy Spirit

His fire is my life

My cigarettes turned to ashes

But His life I breathe now

I started my walk into eternity

Sanctified and delivered

I lay with men

Looking for love

And even when I made my bed in the depths,

There He was

I was saved…

From the grip of the enemy

I thank the Lord

My life He saved

It was not for me that He did this

But for His name to be glorified

For all to see that it’s not by might

Not by power, but by the spirit says the Lord

He guards His own

For we are His children

A mountain to climb is a step for Him

It may feel like many days for you

But for Him a thousands is as a day

I now raise my hands

For I know that now I stand

Not with my strength but His

I am in His palm and in His love

I am Cous Cous

I am HIS…

Now Reading Psalms 139

Let Me Count The Ways

Let me count the ways
the ways in which you make me think
Think of things little and big
about a heart so little with feelings so big
it feels like a war waged on the heart
fighting for territory
feelings feelings feelings
I can count the ways

~yours truly~
~EW~

242 to 2011

I can feel my heart beating through my chest

I can feel blood pumping through my veins

But I swallow hard because I am not sure

I know I need to do this

I know that it is for good

But I breathe hard because I am not sure

I can see my hands shaking

I can see my life changing

But I shake my head because I am not sure

My journey starts tonight and I might not be sure

But I am sure that He is holding my hand

He will calm my nerves to have peace during this journey

I know He will be waiting to dry my tears

For I know that this journey won't be easy

My whole being will submit wholly to Him

I will pray myself through this journey

Because through prayer I will come out victorious

242 to 2011

Yours Truly

~EW~

Let's Be Honest

Let’s be honest,

No one wants to know what it feels like to be in pain from a love gone bad

No one feels like they want the burden of wanting to know what it feels like to have butterflies in their tummy when they hear a voice or see a person

We run from the experiences of life in the name of preventing a potential walk of shame

How do we grow if we don’t learn from life’s wealth?

How do I guarantee myself to be one you can love if I know not how to love?

You will never be able to tell the tales of when you fell in love and bite your lower lip

You will never be able to tell a bitter story and shed a tear in the process

I cannot have my cake and eat it all

I cannot want half of what someone’s got to offer and not be ready to deal with the full package

Being selfish is part of growing up where we deny ourselves things to reach our destiny

Being selfish is not warranted when in a relationship with another person

My values may or may not sustain us nor will yours

My vice and yours too will however bring us down and take us back to one

Love comes from everyone and comes in all shapes and sizes

Love that is true comes from you; yourself

Accept that you can love and that you can be loved

Accept that you can make a step into the unknown and come out alive

Do not linger in darkness hoping to find me

Do not wonder in the corridors hoping to come in

Doors are wide and windows there too to let out bad air

Doors are there for us to walk into peoples’ lives and walk out when we feel we cannot do this any more

I cannot continue living wondering what was waiting if I jumped

I cannot imagine living knowing I was too afraid to approach you when I could

Let’s be honest this life would be a lie if I never told you how much I felt for you

It would be fictitious to imagine I will live this life with you in it and not cringe at the thought of never telling you

I want to be honest with myself in this life but what will it take…

I cannot expect you to be honest with me if I cannot be honest with you

Let’s be honest, I don’t want to lie to you

…I want to be honest

~Yours Truly

Virtual Pain

I need you but you just to far away from my reality; 
I reach to you but your virtual touch does nothing;
My tears are real but you wipe your screen;
When I walk up to you, you barely recognize me because I'm not the one you know in the virtualland;
How much more can I take because to be real & not feel in virtualland is a process but in real life even harder
I need you but you just to far away from my reality
~Yours Truly~
EW

Falling Hard and Fast

To fall so deep
The risk is to not knowing whether there is anyone to catch you at the bottom
Yet my wish it to fall into your arms
Descend into a stupor of love
Have nothing to fear
Trust you and only you
To catch me
And not let me hit the ground
…flop
Catch me because I am coming down
…hard and fast
And thus this explains all of my dreams
Where I wake up in a sweat,
And then I open my eyes whilst on my bedroom floor
And realize that it was a dream
I sigh because I hope
I wish
And I pray for you to catch me
To catch me
And not let me hit the ground
…flop
Catch me because I am coming down
…hard and fast

I will always be her baby

I have torrential moments
Where the torments in my mind take residence
I run to my mother as tears uncontrollable well up
I smell her cooking outside before I get into the house
She opens the door and welcomes me with a hug
I rest my head on her bosom as I continue to sob away
My words swallowed by my cries
As I attempt to explain my predicament
She holds me so gently and reassures me
“bas baby,”
And now the flood gates open
My heart weeps with me as the aches just seem irreparable
She laughs because it gives her comfort
To know that her baby is still in there
That she is still useful
She tucks me into my sister’s bed and just stays in bed with me
She does not know what it is
But she will stay until her baby stops the crying
I fall into a deep sleep that is only induced when in my mother’s arms
And I wake up to her smile
Her undying love for me
Even at 30…
I will always be her baby
Yours truly
EW